Scallywag Saturday – All We Can Say is why y’all showin ya asses ?

Okay y’all named em Generation X – uhhhh ruhhh looks like they adopted the name and done started runnin wit it,

*Prosecutors have begun investigating whether to charge ex-heavyweight champion Mike Tyson and a photographer for a fight at Los Angeles International Airport.

*Oprah Winfrey’s much-anticipated interview of Sarah Palin brought her talk show its highest ratings in two years.

*In a recent radio interview with Atlanta’s The Bert Show, Janet Jackson refered to Jermaine Dupri as her “ex,” despite recent reports that the two were back together (and had never been apart) after previous rumors suggested they had broken up.

*”The Wendy Williams Show” has been renewed on Fox TV stations through the 2011-12 season, even though ratings in most markets have been modest, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

okay now we got fricken cartoon avatars with text voices issuing threats and getting attitude ?   Really Doh – wtf  is this all about ?

Uhh ruhhh – somebody needs to stop playin, okay..

*The suburban Philadelphia swim club accused of discrimination last summer after revoking the memberships of mostly black and Hispanic children is headed for bankruptcy, the Philadelphia Daily News reported Saturday

*The Los Angeles city attorney wants back the $3 million it shelled out for Michael Jackson’s memorial at the Staples Center, a spokesman said Monday, despite an audit concluding the event generated even more revenue for the city.

*Despite losing an earlier court battle, the father of Michael Jackson will try again to challenge the two businessman named as executors of his son’s estate – this time by trying to prove that his son’s will was forged.

FYI This is NOT STUNTIN – NO;  in fact – Hell No..

Girllllllllllllll ain’t no such word as Coochtastic.. (side eye)

*Janet Jackson made a surprise appearance at Los Angeles mall The Grove last weekend to personally witness a flash mob that featured a choreographed number to her greatest hits. [click title link to watch video.]

*Allhiphop.com is reporting that the mothers of rappers T-Pain, Lil Wayne and R&B singer Ne-Yo have teamed to launch their own talk show entitled “Dinner Table Discussions.”

We Have Nothing to say but TWO Snaps UP !! (and a Side-eye bitch)

*What in the hell is goin’ on in the ATL? Are the high school kids down there that gangsta? If you had to judge from this incident in suburban Atlanta, you would think that the kids are completely out of control. [click title link to watch video.]

and yes that is San Francisco in the BACKGROUND,,

*Director Lee Daniels says he felt compelled to bring the story of child abuse to the big screen in “Precious” because it helped heal the scars from his own painful past.

Why People always gotta show they Ass, Yeah Literally ?
This aint cute. not at all. where are the damn fashion police when you need they asses ?

*Oprah Winfrey gave Robin Givens a lengthy apology on her live show last Friday over the manner in which she dealt (or didn’t deal) with a comment made last month by the actress’ ex-husband Mike Tyson.

*The latest party to file a creditor’s claim against Michael Jackson’s estate is the law firm that represented him against Debbie Rowe in 2005.

Then we have such stupidity as this,

Keisha go home, and get yo baby from back there in the crowd.. ain’t nobody making it rain.

*50 Cent will play Santa for single mothers this holiday season as part of “50’s Money For Moms” contest, in conjunction with BET.

*Chris Brown got an earful of judgment from a woman during a public promo appearance in New York last week. [click title link to watch video]

*The reality show filmed by Shaquille and Shaunie O’Neal before their marriage took a decisive turn last week may find its way to at least one network still willing to give it a chance.

Then we have these so called rappers – from the D.  Honestly, These no talents; used the freeway when it was shut down for construction for 6 months last year. riiiiiiiiiiiiite ballers. Shoooooowwww,,

of Course you know all these Pics came from our friends at Youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com – nobody puts it down like DurtyMO ! The news pieces are from  BET Entertainment. we captioned our piece with what we think applies to the image.

So Babies,  if you don’t like it Stop going out in public Showin Yo ASS,

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Kartel Walks; Mavado Dumped and Fined; Vegas Burns; MumaSaw Strips;

this is probably our first Yard Update for the year 2009.

Politics it nah nuff, so we fall offa we routine, but we start pick it up back so.

Today we ago share some entertainment news updates wid unnu;  including the info on Taurrus Riley and Jimmy Riley’s Arrest on Violence which includes a video and then a joke.

Rebel Salute’s 16th anniversary honored President Barack Obama

By yardFlex on Yard News

rebel.JPGRebel Salute went all night until daylight last Saturday, with patrons getting what they were promised and more.

Marking its 16th year the show shook Port Kaiser Sports Club in St Elizabeth, with invigoration stamped on Tony Rebel himself who stirred up the crowd with his, “Another Rebel Salute Again” and so many other great shots. This was a huge celebration appropriately billed as, an Obama pre-inauguration event.

It was a refreshing new emphasis in the chants from artists, who echoed a steady note of respect and joy for the historical first taking place in the United States. President Barack Obama’s picture served as the backdrop and his achievement, a well espoused theme.

Despite the disappointing lack of luster in a few of the more vintage moments on stage, the concert was popping, with its numerous band changes going smoothly for the most part. Seasoned hosts, Mutabaruka, Isis, Jenny Jenny and Cordel Green were the MC’s who worked well in keeping things flowing.

Well received by the crowd, artists like, Lady G, Mykal Rose, Cherine Anderson, Luciano, Konshens, I Wayne, Tarrus Riley and Queen Ifrica gave stirring performances.

Tarrus and his new Empress
Tarrus.jpg

It seems like Tarrus and Etana are no longer an item as his new tune “Cold Kisses” seem to be written for Etana….”Cant believe that your love is fading, can’t believe you pushing me away”. However he was spotted at Rebel Salute with a new empress from the Bahamas on his arm, I guess she is keeping him warm. And guess what the new empress is definitely ROYAL…what a substance.

This is Taurrus Riley – Start Anew
Word is it’s For His Dad Jimmy Riley; who was recently cited in court for beating up his wife; and threatening her life. shame on you Jimmy and we did think unnu was a Rasta.

Jimmy Riley arrested, fingerprinted and bailed for punching wife

By yardFlex on Yard News

jimmyriley.jpgJimmy Riley is one of Jamaica’s hard-hitting reggae icons whose artistic excellence lives on in his son Tarrus. However the reggae star has a bit of a lesson to learn about keeping the heavyweight act for the studio and stage, rather than following up belligerence with physical violence.

Last week Riley appeared in the Corporate Area Resident Magistrate’s Court and faced the serious charge of hitting his wife. Sandra Bramwell-Riley was also present in the court, where she backed up her police report, given on January 4 at the Stony Hill Police Station.

In her report, Bramwell-Riley alleged that following an argument that developed while she traveled with her husband, he hit her hard in her face and later threatened her with a knife. Injured by the attack, Bramwell-Riley followed through with charging her husband and told the court that this was not the first time she has been abused in this manner by him.

Riley, whose real name is Martin Riley was also said to have hit his wife on other occasions. When Bramwell-Riley went to police on after a previous similar incident, she was told to go home and try working out the domestic dispute.

In Riley’s defence, his lawyer, Peter Champagnie offered the rebuttal that the alleged incident did not happen as reported by his wife. In his view, the matter should be referred to the Dispute Resolution Foundation or for counseling; not an option for Bramwell-Riley who no longer lives in the matrimonial home, she said.

Riley will return to court on January 30 and was ordered to be fingerprinted by Senior Resident Magistrate Glen Brown who extended his bail.

Bramwell-Riley told the court that Riley has been steadily pleading with her to drop the charges since she made the police report.<

One Comment – Lady Saw has reached an age, where she needs to stop with the lingerie modeling. it nah look to nice pon her 40 year old body.

Muma Saw’ nominated again and again this year.

By yardFlex on Yard News

ladysaw01.jpgCome February Lady “Muma’ Saw will be busy on the award show circuit, as she has a few nominations pending.

The EME’s – Excellence in Music and Entertainment Awards will take place on February 5th at the Jamaica Pegasus Hotel. Muma Saw goes up for Female DJ of the Year at that one.

Then just two days later on February 7, dancehall’s first lady will be featured as nominee at the Youth View awards, at the National Indoor Sport Centre. For this one, Lady Saw has been nominated in the category – Favorite Female Dancehall Artist.

Lady Saw is yet on another list of nominees, for the February 26th Hype TV Awards, to be held at the Hype TV Studio.

‘Muma’ is always blazing up dancehall scenes globally, whether through her hot videos and albums or in person. The well deserving ‘multi-nominee’ has the single “Boyfriend” at number 16 on the current Hype TV Single Chart, with its video reaching number 1 on video charts at RE TV, CVM TV and Hype TV

Mavado Was Unsuccessful in Busting BET Because Of His NASTINESS. YOW BET, Maybe you start watch video before you program dem finally.

No “I’m So Special” for BET 106 & Park.
Movado32225.JPGAfter all the hype surrounding Mavado’s “I’m So Special” video, it did not premier on BET 106 & Park, however it was launched via the internet.

According to his management, intervention from someone in the legal department prevented the video from airing. The person had censorship issues with the video, as it relates to “excessive display of alcohol,” and “careless use of women as writhing set dressings.”

People can now watch the video online.

mavado_so_special_video_photos.jpgWe were as surprised as everyone at BET’s decision not to follow through on their promise to premier the “So Special” video on yesterday’s 106 & Park. Despite 106 & Park’s presenters hyping the premier for several days, including showing clips from the video, a last minute intervention by someone in the legal department prevented the video from airing.

“The anticipation was very high for the BET premier,” said Mavado’s management team. “We weren’t notified until late in the day that there was a last minute objection by one of the legals over there, who had a censorship issue. He objected to “excessive display of alcohol” and “careless use of women as writhing set dressings!” The video is now available to watch online so people can make up their own minds about that.”

Mavado’s management went on to say that when the video was first submitted to BET they flagged several issues and were sent 3 different edits before approval.

“The show’s programmer had passed the video and had been running promos so she was livid at the decision,” he continued. “It’s disappointing but all is not lost. If anything this may help publicise the video even more – Mavado can’t seem to step without some form of controversy!”

And The Double Standard for the same charge, Only  On Stage In A Show In JA Can Man Cuss Togetha; Both Get Arrest Togetha; and Only One Man Pay fi dem typa crime. Whaaaa ? Kartel Walk, Vado Pay.  this censoring drama start get expensive and thick. u no see it.

Mavado fined $3,000 for swearing

Rasbert Turner – JA Star
spanish town

David Mavado Brooks
Entertainer David ‘Mavado’ Brooks was fined $3,000 or 10 days for using indecent language, when he appeared in the Spanish Town Resident Magistrate’s Court, yesterday.

Brooks, who was unrepresented, pleaded guilty with explanation before RM C. Wiltshire, who gave him the chance to explain.

It was a lyrical battle between myself and another entertainer your honour. Things got out of hand and I lose mi temper and curse de bad words. I am sorry,” he said.

Displeased fans

Having heard the entertainer, the RM fined him. He paid the fine and left the court building surrounded by a number of persons said to be his supporters.

The fine was not pleasing to some persons on the outside of the court.

The entertainer was dragged before the court following a verbal clash between himself and fellow entertainer Adidjah ‘Vybz Kartel’ Palmer at the 25th staging of the Sting stage show at Jamworld on Boxing Day, December 26, last year.

Kartel walks free


Vybz Kartel – File

Several eyebrows were raised in the Spanish Town RM Court yesterday after a judge admonished and discharged entertainer Adidjah ‘Vybz Kartel’ Palmer of indecent language.

The entertainer, represented by attorney-at-law Michael Deans, pleaded guilty before RM Simone Maddix. His lawyer told the court that although his client is guilty of the offence, he knows that the entertainer is very sorry for his misdeeds.

“Your Honour, I know the name Vybz Kartel might send off a negative vibes. However, I am representing Adidjah Palmer who is a totally different person from the entertainer persona. And it is in this light that we want to say we are sorry to the music fraternity and Jamaica at large for what happened at Sting,” he said.

His responsibilities

He further mentioned that the entertainer is a responsible citizen and in this light having owned up to his responsibilities, he will be asking the court to admonish and discharge him of the offence. After hearing the submission RM Maddix spoke with the entertainer.

“Your lawyer said that Mr Palmer is different from Vybz Kartel but you need not be different, I cannot see how people use indecent language. It is negative and you being a responsible person must do things that reflect you as a totally responsible individual,” she told him.

The entertainer was subsequently told that he was free to go and the case was admonished and discharged.

“I am pleased that things turned out this way, but I must admit that sincerity goes a long way. It was a sincere request that my lawyer put across as indeed I am sorry for the whole thing,” Kartel said after leaving the court.

Kartel is accused of using indecent language at the Sting show on Boxing Day last year.

Mr. Vegas’ “Tek Weh Yuh Self” Makes Vibe Magazine’s ‘80 Best Songs of 08′

By yardFlex on Yard News

Vegas Performance pic 2.jpgThe fire of Mr. Vegas’ killer single “Tek Weh Yuh Self” continues to burn after years of getting love in the dancehalls. Recently, the monster hit “Tek Weh Yuh Self” was voted #74 on Vibe Magazine’s “80 Best Songs of 08″ list.

Mr. Vegas’ presence on the Vibe list is by all means a pleasant surprise. And even more impressive is the fact that Mr. Vegas is one of only two dancehall artists to make the billing, the second is Mavado. The phone lines have been ringing incessantly since the January 2009 issue of Vibe was released.

According to Vibe Magazine, “Tek Weh Yuh Self” thrived in part because it featured “one of dancehall’s perennial hitmakers over a stripped-down, spring-loaded track.”

“It is overwhelming to know that the music that I am making has longevity,” says Vegas sincerely. “Even though I recorded ‘Tek Weh Yuh Self’ some time ago — each time I perform it, the audience reacts as if it is a brand new song.”

It’s clear that Mr. Vegas has the ability to meticulously deliver straight dancehall music to the doorsteps of a mainstream audience. Making Vibe’s “80 Best Songs of 08″ is just another example of Mr. Vegas’ universal appeal. The dancehall star shared a spot on the list along with heavy weight artists including Mariah Carey, 50 Cent, T-Pain, Lil’ Wayne, Chris Brown, Rihanna and Jay Z to name a few.

“Tek Weh Yuh Self” is just one of Mr. Vegas’ hits that are receiving attention. The omnipotent “Mus Come a Road” continues to dominate loads of international charts. And the steamy new single “Deh Pon De Scene” is killing the place.

MACKA STAR !!!!!!!!

Macka to star in first ‘Collywood’ Flick

By yardFlex on Yard News

1 Dandy Shandy Video Shoot - edit.jpgMacka Diamond is pulling out all stops as she lets her creativity flow for the benefit of her current fans and those she is yet to win with her upcoming role in an action packed Caribbean focused movie.

The chart topping DJ, who is in high demand globally, has opened up many new avenues for herself, starting with the launching of the book, “Bun Him”, which she authored; and now continuing with her major role in the film titled, “Paradise Redemption”.

Set to be shot in Antigua, the film is said to be filled with drama. Macka told The Star that “Paradise Redemption” is about her character, a middle aged woman, whose grown daughter is in the garrison. The daughter’s boyfriend is murdered and after getting involved herself, she also gets killed.

From there Macka’s character gets involved as she seeks revenge. In doing so, the DJ said, she’ll be getting down and dirty, pulling off some serious matrix stunts that even involve riding bikes. “It’s gonna be crazy,” she is reported as saying.

A Patois Language Lesson (Joke)

By yardFlex.com on Yard Jokes

American: Porch
Jamaican: Varanda

American: Bathe, Shower
Jamaican: Bade, Hol’ A Fresh

American: Collard Greens, Spinach
Jamaican: Callaloo

American: Stick Shift (Car)
Jamaican: Standard

American: Charge It
Jamaican: Trus’ It

American: Can You Give Me A Lift To The Corner
Jamaican: Beg Yu A Ride Go Dung Di Street Noh Sah

American: Oh My God!
Jamaican: Lawd A Mercy

American: Excuse Me
Jamaican: Beg Yu Pardon

American: “You Wanna Fight?”, Or “You Want A Piece Of Me”
Jamaican: “Touch A Button!” “Touch A Button”

American: Where Are You Going?
Jamaican: Weh Yuh Deh Go?

American: Excuse Me
Jamaican: Gi Mi Pass

American: Sorry
Jamaican: Hush

American: The Shoes Is A Little Tight
Jamaican: Lawd Di Boot A Bun Mi

American: Oh Stop It You’re Killing Me
Jamaican: Lawd Ma Top Eh Man Yuh A Go Kill Me

American: I Do Not Practice Oral Sex
Jamaican: Mi Nuh Bow!!!

in the words of Bounty Killa -

Now Hol Dat !

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For Us What’s Most Important about this story is that finally the White House Press Corps will include people who will report from the viewpoint of African Americans; in large enough numbers that They Will Get Notice. They’ll be seen when they ask about Congo, Sudan and Poverty – as they didn’t receive any notice, or weren’t as visible to previous administrations.

Can You Imagine, the Ebony or Jet folks rushing to ask the press sec what Mr. Obama thinks on Frederick Douglass Day – which for those of you who don’t know -  is also the forth of July. Now That will really be something I want to see. an acknowlegement of All Of Americas’ History – From The White House.

Finally a Black Fashion Reporter to show us what’s really HOT, from inside the Pressure Cooker of the Beltway.  We want to know What does the White House Refrigerator Have In There ? do they use Scott or Charmin in the Executive Powder Room ? how bout those grocery bags, are they paper or plastic ?

Surely some of you will see this as frivolity; but as a member of the Black Journalist Corps – I must say that I feel exceptionally Proud that Finally We’ll be able to File Our Own Stories, from Our Viewpoint of the Story – Not AP or some other third party.

This is Truly another First in the line of Many to Follow.  All Across America People are saying - “Hurry Up January 20th, we can hardly wait to see you“..

Obama’s win brings firsts for black press – Politico

Barack Obama’s election as president is prompting major changes in the nation’s black press, ushering in a series of firsts that editors say will reshape print, Internet, radio and television coverage aimed at African-American audiences.

Essence, the top-selling magazine among black women, will have a full-time White House reporter for the first time. Ebony magazine will add a White House reporter, either full time or as needed. Its sister publication, Jet magazine, will have a weekly two-page Washington report in every issue.

And Black Entertainment Television is scrapping its usual fare of videos and sitcoms for a four-hour live broadcast of Obama’s swearing-in — just as the leading cable network in black households did for both party conventions last summer, and on Election Day. TV One will do the same, airing 21 hours of inauguration coverage throughout the day.

In some ways, the moves mark a return to a time when the black press — particularly magazines — were newsier. Jet first published photos of the battered and swollen body of Emmett Till in 1955, sparking outrage and galvanizing a still-young civil rights movement.

“Who we are is really evolving right now, in this post-civil rights era,” said Bryan Monroe, vice president and editorial director of Ebony and Jet. “Our readers really need the black press.”

April Ryan, who has been covering the White House for American Urban Radio Networks for 11 years, wonders what took so long.

“Katrina happened under Bush, and Rwanda happened under Clinton,” said Ryan, who was one of a handful of black reporters in the White House press corps during that time. “If more reporters of color were here, maybe those issues would have garnered more attention, and it could have made a difference.”

She said that the addition of black reporters could mean more focus on the urban agenda — failing schools, crime, job loss, poor health care.

“I am five generations removed from a slave. I was here the night [Obama won], and I had goose bumps,” Ryan said. “Yes, we pause for the history of a black president — but it’s not the reason to be here. There’s real work to be done.”

The press as a whole has faced charges of pro-Obama bias — including respected names like PBS’ Gwen Ifill, who is black — but the magazine editors say they know they must provide balanced coverage to their readers.

Yet, if what happened to Tavis Smiley, a popular guest on the “Tom Joyner Morning Show” and host of his own PBS show, is any guide, serious questioning of Barack Obama might not always sit right with black audiences.

Smiley ended up leaving his post as a commentator after he was roundly criticized for taking a harsh stance on Obama — his point, he said, was that black folks should kick the tires before getting on board.

“A whole bunch of black people turned on me in the blogosphere, and they called me everything but a child of God,” Smiley said. “They thought I was hating on Barack Obama.”

The latest issue of Essence, which reaches 8.5 million readers a month, has two different covers — Barack or Michelle — and features famous African-Americans, ruminating on the moment. Ebony named a person of the year for the first time in its 63-year history, dedicating its entire January issue to the president-elect.

But all the coverage won’t be like that, one editor said.

“We’ll be asking what he is going to do on specific issues that African-Americans are interested in —  unemployment, AIDS, housing, health  we are going to be following all of those things,” said Tatsha Robertson of Essence. “It is historic but we are going to take him to task.”

Robertson said Essence will use its website to break news, and its Obama watch section is one of the most popular features on the website.

The moves are also an indication of the deep ties Obama formed with the black press — and by extension, the black community — over the course of the campaign. Black support for the president-elect was 95 percent, a record.

“We did do a very good job of fostering strong relationships during campaign … and the community had unprecedented access,” said Corey Ealons, the campaign’s director of African-American media. On weekly conference calls during the general election, Ealons said he would put the campaign’s core issues — heath care, joblessness, education — in the context of the black community.

“It was just a matter of spelling it out and making it plain — that the unemployment rate in our community is double the national average, that 95 percent of black children go to public schools — so they could report it back to the community,” Ealons said. “And they did so. The desire now is to maintain and sustain that.”

For Ebony, the nation’s oldest black magazine with a monthly readership of 12 million, the coverage paid off — the Chicago-based magazine landed Obama’s first post-election interview.

The newsier turn is due, at least in part, to the black brain drain from mainstream publications because of massive industry buyouts and layoffs. And black publications like Ebony and Essence have reaped the rewards, landing reporters and editors from such top newspapers as the Baltimore Sun, Newsday and the Boston Globe and such organizations as the former Knight Ridder chain.

“There is a sense of going to back to the roots of where we used to get our news,” said Barbara Ciara, president of the National Association of Black Journalists. “When we first learned of something that was going to happen in our community, it hit the black press long before it hit the mainstream.”

BET, which will host an inaugural ball for the first time in the network’s history, ran 10 hours of Election Night coverage and reached 10.7 million viewers, topping CNBC’s coverage. Correspondents, who were spread out in cities across the country, were expected to reflect on the moment as well as to report the news.

“We made the decision that we needed to cover the visceral aspects of the election as well,” said Keith Brown, senior vice president of news. “Reporters had a responsibility to give the information but also say what it felt like and what it meant to our community. They were our storytellers and not just reporters.”

BET, long criticized for running too many booty-shaking music videos, is in the process of expanding its news coverage beyond the current 25 hours a month. But don’t expect “Meet the Press” or a nightly news-style broadcast.

“People are demanding change and accountability and they want to know what’s happening and they want people who they trust to break it down and help them understand it,” Brown said. “And we have a very key role in doing that. Sometimes the most traditional way isn’t the most effective, but it’s going to be grounded in solid reporting.”

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Soulbounce Names The Top 10 Worst Moments in Black Music of 2008 » We Agree

We’re Regular readers and subscribers of Soulbounce. Every year they publish their list for the year of the worst and best – this year we decided to give them a lil play – by letting you share in their fun.

For the Record, We’re With Soulbounce, specially on that Soulja boy BS. ignorance is no excuse especially in todays world. Lord let this be the last year we have to hear about this Soulja Boy BS cause ain’t nothin good about him  – peroid.  We’re not going to give you all 10 – so that you click and go check out the rest of the article on Soulbounce.com

Keepin it Lively,


The Top 10 Worst Moments in Black Music of 2008

It’s all fun and games until someone says something stupid, or continues singing after their brother passes out on stage. Today we’re counting down The Top 10 Worst Moments in Black Music, and most of it isn’t very funny at all. More like SAD. Perhaps when we do this list next year, we’ll all be able to engage in hearty communal schadenfreude instead of our side-eyes doing the jitterbug.

#10: ARETHA FRANKLIN VS. EVERYBODY

2008 was quite the year for this legend wasn’t it? I think maybe she released a Christmas album, right? At any rate, Aretha Franklin kept us in stitches not only by somehow murdering “Touch My Body” (which was already D.O.A.), and drawing the ire of PETA (who, admittedly, picks on rich people for GP) but with her well-publicized beef with Beyoncé and Tina Turner. Now we all know how highly Bey regards Tina, so it is without question that she would refer to her as “The Queen”.

Aretha responded from her Clock Tower in the Haunted Forest that the Grammy writers and Bey were courting controversy, which sounds more like a threat than an observation. Then Beyoncé’s father Joe Jackson Mathew Knowles told Aretha to sit down somewhere, while Tina Turner offered “Oh that crazy ReRe always got jokes!” And then Aretha told Tina to go to Hell, right before pretending Beyoncé didn’t exist. Oh, what hell you have wrought, Beyoncé!

9. THE DRU HILL “FIGHT”

We may have been born yesterday but we know a PR stunt when we see it. Dru Hill had us talking about them for a good 36 hours when they appeared on 92Q in B-More, announcing they were reuniting with the original line-up. It was all peace and love until Woody said “Jesus is way more awesome than Sisqo, so I am leaving the group!”

Then Sisqo was all “Why you ain’t say that before we got ON THE AIR WHERE EVERYONE COULD WITNESS IT AND ANTICIPATE OUR NEXT RELEASE?!”

He then proceeded to stomp about and wave his arms frantically because Woody had also hidden his pot o’gold. Weeks later Dru Hill held a competition where they auditioned new members and ended up choosing some dude they already knew. Then a new Dru Hill song came out and everyone hated it. Jesus is looking real good now, huh Sisqo?

8. MY BROTHER’S BURDEN IS NOT MY OWN.

We take no pleasure in seeing Jojo Hailey collapse on stage, because we love him. We also love his crazy brother K-Ci, who heard Jojo hit the stage with a loud thud, turned and saw him lying there, then kept right on singing. We understand that you are supposed to perform through a fall (hell, all three members of Destiny’s Child taught us that), but only when someone is able to get right back up and might not be dead. He didn’t even have the decency to pack some smelling salts!

7. OTHERWISE LEGENDARY DIVAS WORKING WITH… THESE GUYS

These are the ladies that have provided us with countless years of amazing music and have typically steered away from the low-brow. Not in 2008! We don’t begrudge any singer the opportunity to appeal to a wider audience and receive a check in the process, but this got way out of hand this year.

First Mariah said “To Hell with the full range of my voice” and employed the ubiquitous T-Pain for “Migrate.” Then Whitney Houston released a buzz single with T-Pain’s law-abiding mentor Akon.

But none of that could compare to Plies‘ “Bust It Baby,” which was already a steaming pile on its own before some genius named Jermaine Dupri had to add his poor, put-upon girlfriend Janet Jackson to the remix. We are just counting the days until Celine Dion does a record with Paul Wall. Ugh!

6. T-BABY: THE PRIDE OF DETROIT
I mean, what can you say, really?

(Editors Update – “T-Baby Is NOT THE PRIDE OF DETROIT “- Detroit)

5. L.A. TIMES JOURNALIST PLAYS HIMSELF

Haha @ Chuck Phillips! We were already dumbfounded that, after all these years, he managed to find a way to cleverly re-invoke the Tupac/Bad Boy rivalry and get plenty of media attention. Only thing was, his claim that Diddy had intel that Tupac would be attacked (and eventually shot) back in 1994 was based on forged documents that didn’t even look authentic!

See, this is what happens when you want attention: someone else that wants more attention will exploit you for their own wicked purposes. Besides, there are so many more relevant and recent reasons to pick on Diddy.

4. DMX DOESN’T WATCH THE NEWS

Not that we expect much in the way of common sense when it comes to DMX, but geez! You would think once we had a viable Black candidate running for the highest office in the country that ol’ Earl would wise up for, like, five minutes? Upon learning that not only a Black man was in the running but that his name was Barack Obama, X responded with “What the f*ck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?” Le sigh. That would be funny if (1) DMX’s sense of humor wasn’t dripping in nignorance, and (2) it’s actually not funny. So he must’ve meant what he said. He was also unimpressed that a person of color was running for office (and by all accounts, at the time, had a good chance of winning), stating: “What, they gon’ give a dog a bone?

There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should’ve done that sh*t a long time ago, we wouldn’t be in the f*ckin’ position we in now. With world war coming up right now.” Oh, we get it. DMX doesn’t watch the news because he’s tired of seeing himself on it.

3. “DEFINE TEENAGER.”

It’s all downhill from here, people. We knew that if R. Kelly was found innocent of various counts of child pornography that he would continue to bless us with insipid ghetto chickenhead track after insipid ghetto chickenhead track, employing every hood motif from hair-braiding and mambo sauce to E-Z Widers.

It makes sense that he would sit down with BET after his acquittal–a network that is run by Negroes so dense that a Black man running for president wasn’t enough reason to balance their programming with more news and current events. At any rate, Touré, who seems to have the worst luck with interviewees (see next item), pointedly asked R. Kelly “Do you like teenage girls?” R. responded with “When you say ‘teenage’ how old are we talking?” Cut to: Touré wondering if he’s being paid enough to endure this bullsh*t. R. went on to say that he has some nineteen-year-old friends. That he likes to pee on.

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2. “SHOUT-OUT TO THE SLAVEMASTERS!”

Soulja Boy is The Worst Person in The World for many, many reasons. Up until recently, we thought his phenomenal level of ignorance was simply a product of his fame. Sometimes when folks get famous, they become arrogant because of some misguided sense of invincibility, then the arrogance becomes vast stupidity and madness.

We prefer madness because sometimes it provides a hearty chuckle. But stupidity is a no-no, especially when it comes at the expense of our ancestors. Touré, for some inexplicable reason, found himself asking Soulja Boy a question that required critical thought and consideration–functions this young man is astoundingly incapable of: “What historical figure do you most hate?” Since Soulja Boy didn’t understand what a “historical figure” was, Touré listed a number of examples–”Hitler, bin Laden, the slave masters.”

This resulted in Soulja Boy declaring “Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we’d still be in Africa. We wouldn’t be here to get this ice and tattoos.” What’s next, an instructional dance song called “Crank That Apartheid”?

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