The news has been so steep lately that we’ve stepped away from our Foolish Friday features recently. As Thanks for an overwhelming visit count in May – we’re giving you some of the stuff you seem to love according to the search results. Plus we’ll give you Serena, Janet and more of Amber Rose .. so stay tuned,
First Off we have a certified Ball Snatcher –
Men Read This and know that there are women out there who will apparently literally Snatch your balls OFF – Whoooo HA ! Women, remember this for emergency use in case of absolutely loosing your mind one night.. when somebody insists you give them head.
A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.
She pulled off his left testicle and Began to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: “That’s yours.“
Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.
Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was “a very serious injury” and that Monti was not acting in self-defence. The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but “open relationship” with Monti towards the end of May last year.
The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones’s house.
An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them. In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and “pulled hard”.
I am in no way a violent person
He added: “That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.” The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones’s testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.
She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.
In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done. She said: “It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person.”
The letter added: “I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life.”
Next we have Comedy Central with our friend Sweet Minty Jesus, Yes we said The Jesus Show. Now before you start getting all blistered and red, read this part of the story – you can read the whole story by clicking the title to go directly to it. (side-eye)
Comedy Central’s Jesus Show Draws Protest From Religious Groups
NEW YORK — A coalition of religious and conservative leaders is trying to stop a proposed Comedy Central cartoon that puts Jesus Christ in a modern-day context – before it even gets started.
The newly formed Citizens Against Religious Bigotry said Thursday that it believes the “JC” series would be offensive. They accuse Comedy Central of a double standard in mocking Christian figures and beliefs while recently refusing to let “South Park” depict the Prophet Muhammad for fear of offending Muslims.
“You don’t have to be a Christian to be offended by this,” said Brent Bozell, head of the watchdog Media Research Center.
Comedy Central said last month that “JC” is one of two dozen series it has in development. The concept is to depict Christ as a “regular guy” who moves to New York to “escape his father’s enormous shadow.”
Network spokesman Tony Fox noted that “JC” is nothing more than an idea now, without even a completed script. In television, only a minority of projects in development ever make it on the air.
Fox said the groups should save their energy for when a decision is made about whether the series will ever be completed.
Aside from Bozell’s group, the coalition also includes the Catholic League, the Parents Television Council and talk show host Michael Medved. They said the coalition had written to 250 Comedy Central advertisers to alert them to the show and already had 93,000 petition signals against it.
Comedy Central was the target of an Internet threat this spring from a Muslim group for a “South Park” episode that supposedly showed Muhammad in a bear costume. Like other media organizations, it resists showing a depiction of Muhammad because many Muslims consider a physical description of the prophet to be blasphemous.
okay now for something Really Blasphemous – the Tribune Gave Bonuses after they received a Bailout. wait hold the phone – the bonuses were in the Millions. Ooookaayyyyy,, now how Unholy was that mess ? Talk About Some Really Big Ass Balls
DOVER, Del. — The Tribune Co. wants to pay top executives and managers more than $15 million in bonuses as part of its bankruptcy reorganization plan.
Court documents filed in Delaware this week call for 20 managers, including nine of Tribune’s top 10 executives, to share more than $10 million for helping steer the company through bankruptcy. Another $4.6 million would go to 21 managers, including five qualifying under the first plan.
Tribune also proposes $1.3 million in discretionary bonuses for up to 50 other employees for restructring work.
It says the total bonus payout is about $5 million less than the maximum originally proposed.
The media company has already paid bonuses of more than $57 million since filing for bankruptcy protection in December 2008.
Next We have Silly Sarah. Cracked Little Teapot Spouting Off about the Oil Spill when her hands are as oily as the gulf. Bish Please..STFU
In her latest note on Facebook, Sarah Palin is blaming “extreme ‘environmentalists’” for causing the gulf oil disaster that has been unfolding for over a month. Her logic is that because environmentalists push for tougher drilling regulations onshore in places like the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (also known as ANWR) it forces oil companies to explore deeper offshore drilling which has more risks.
With [environmentalists'] nonsensical efforts to lock up safer drilling areas, all you’re doing is outsourcing energy development, which makes us more controlled by foreign countries, less safe, and less prosperous on a dirtier planet. Your hypocrisy is showing. You’re not preventing environmental hazards; you’re outsourcing them and making drilling more dangerous.
Extreme deep water drilling is not the preferred choice to meet our country’s energy needs, but your protests and lawsuits and lies about onshore and shallow water drilling have locked up safer areas. It’s catching up with you. The tragic, unprecedented deep water Gulf oil spill proves it.
You can read her full note on Facebook here.
This is one of several comments about the oil spill Palin has made that has caused a stir, including a tweet in which she said we said we shouldn’t trust BP because it is a foreign oil company. Palin’s husband Todd worked for BP for 18 years.
Now lets sling a lil celebrity crap around. This week we have a homewrecker and a home wrecked; in no specific order. it’s all ugly when kids are involved
Garcelle and Mike with their sons Jax and Jaid.
Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon has filed for divorce from her allegedly cheating husband, agent Mike Nilon, E! Online reports.
In April Garcelle outed Mike as a cheater via an email blast sent to his CAA office. The email, which soon went viral, had a subject line “Tiger Woods/Jesse James/Mike Nilon” and read:
“What do they have in common . . . I found out today that MY husband of almost 9 yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago. I am devastated!!!! And I have been duped!! Our boys don’t deserve this!”
Just last week the former ‘NYPD Blue’ star seemed unsure of whether she would try to save her marriage for the sake of their two-year-old twin sons.
“I’m taking it one day at a time, and I’m learning how strong I am,” she told E! when asked how’s she dealing. “I don’t know…I have kids, so I don’t know.”
Garcelle also expressed no remorse for the email.
“I was angry…and no, I don’t regret it,” she said
Next We Have the Pop Tart formerly known as Alicia Keys. Notice The Baby Bump – apparently Swizz Beats Struck Gold.. wonder what Mashonda gets for her prize ? obtw, this is a boy.
according to Yahoo.com
The Grammy Award-winning R&B singer has been dating producer Swizz Beatz, who has written hits for Beyonce (bee-AHN’-say), Jay-Z and others. They’re engaged to be married at a private ceremony later this year.
Representatives for the couple confirmed the news Thursday night. Beatz has been married before and has two sons.
Then We Have Todd Bridges talking about the slowly rising stank off the corpse of Gary Coleman. Todd Says that Gary left a Secret Will – Hmmmmm.. we’ll just have to wait until the courts recognize this and show us the real goods on this one. there’s no doubt there’s some hotmess going on with wifey and mommy; but with Gary being sick, it makes sense that he would leave a will. damn I was lookin forward to seeing them two phiranas going at it on court tv over his estate. speaking of court TeeVee Where Is Star Jones ?
The former child star says that Gary recently had open-heart surgery, “Physically, he wasn’t in great shape. He had a valve replaced, and people didn’t know that,” says Todd, who also reveals that Gary had a secret will at the time of his death. “[A friend of mine and I] have paperwork, and we’ll bring it out soon, that will show what his wishes were and what he wanted,” explains Todd. “There’s a big fight going on with his parents and some other people involved, and after we bring this paperwork out, everybody’s going to shut up.”
Todd says Gary was bilked out of $18 million that he earned from starring in “Diff’rent Strokes,” and, “Gary had certain wishes [excluding his parents]. I’m not going to go against a dying man’s wishes. … There’s a reason why he didn’t speak to them for 23 years.”
Dime Wars Today Asked Why Serena Williams Lost the French Open, and yes it’s hot and spicy. their theory is that Like Lebron James, Serena is Distracted. Could Be.. With a Fine Ass Man like Common she just might be.
Some reports state that the love affair between herself and Common is responsible for the distraction during the game play. Maybe Serena Williams suffers from the same thing that Lebron James suffers from. These emotional players need to get their acts together, or they’ll never be able to receive the accolades that their skills warrant.
Dime Wars was also all over Janet Jackson and her new chocolate chip. this girl sure knows how to make a man comeback. Get em rich, young and fine. You Go Ms Jackson. We wonder is This The Mr. Al Wissam of the leather game ????
She recently ended a seven year relationship with music producer Jermaine Dupri and swapped him out with a millionaire from Qatar named Wissam Al Mana. Wissam is nine years Janet Jackson’s junior, but in the pockets, he’s got old money – and he’s not afraid to use it as a tool to express his love. According to one source, within the first months of meeting Janet Jackson, Wissam already showered Janet with a yacht cruise with her own butler, a Bentley convertible and a $2,200 Balenciaga Weekender bag and a pink-gold Love bracelet from Cartier. Not bad.
“He seems to have given her a new lease on life since her brother Michael died,” a source said. “He’s younger than Janet, taller than Janet and far richer than Janet. He has become her knight in shining armor. For the first time in Janet’s life, she’s with a man who pays for everything,” said the pal. “He’s filthy rich.”
Have Mercy – Essence Atkins Met Her Husband on Match.com ?
Please tell me that she had more skills than to use a hot damn computerized dating service to do her fixing up ? Have Mercy Girl. You couldn’t do better by yourself ? lets start the clock on this one. no doubt..
and as promised Amber Rose.. doing what else – Walking The Street.
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- Religious coalition protests against Comedy Central Jesus cartoon (telegraph.co.uk)
- Tribune plans $15M in bonuses (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
- Fun New Game May Destroy Your Testicles (queerty.com)
- ‘Sack Tapping’: Boys Punch Groin in Dangerous Game (atomiurl.com)
- Man accidentally shoots himself in testicles (seattletimes.nwsource.com)