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Zombie flu victims thankful for second amendment rights

The AntiTerrorist on dealing with the Police Part 1 of 2

The AntiTerrorist on dealing with the Police Part 2 of 2

Now that the NOMF™ has officially declared a public health emergency to deal with the zombie flu, I’m sure glad for my second amendment rights, and you should be too, no matter which side of the pandemic you end up on. If you get infected, it’s nice to know that stockpile of weapons and ammo is finally going to come in handy to resist when the authorities come to round you up for quarantine at those hundreds of camps around the world where we have never knowingly and without authorization tortured innocent people for the hell of it.

WATCH FEMA VIOLATE OUR 2ND AMENDMENT RIGHTS!

On the other hand, as the numbers of infected grow, you’ll thank me for reminding you that a non-zombie’s home is his or her castle and in this great NOMF™ the second amendment guarantees you the right to own and bear arms with which you can defend it against hordes of cannibalistic brain-eating dead, which is precisely what the founding fathers were anticipating when they made the second amendment almost as important as the first, which is the one I am abusing right now.

Former Vice President in hiding Lon Cheney emerged briefly from his burrow today to suggest that the Obama administration is not moving quickly enough to isolate the infected within our borders and even offered to give the administration the location of another 500 secret prisons that not even former President Bush knew about that could quickly be converted to house the millions of zombies projected to roam our malls and transit centers by next fall if current rates of infection continue.

So as the death rate climbs and you are able to prevent hungry zombies from devouring you by aiming for their heads, of course, make sure to thank God, the second amendment, and the Internet for this public service announcment.

Why We Have Our 2nd Amendment Rights In The USA

And now we return you to our regular second amendment programming.

Police in Kansas City found Teriyonna Stevenson dead from second amendment enabled wounds over the weekend.

In Schenectady, the second amendment contributed to the death of Ronald Crenshaw who succumbed to someone else’s exercise of his rights outside the Aquarius Club at 1500 State Street. Police released no motive or suspect in the case.

George Zinkhan used the second amendment in Athens, Georgia, over the weekend to settle an argument with his former wife Marie Bruce, Thomas Cole Tanner, and Ben Teague outside the Athens Community Theatre in an unscheduled bit of drama as a prelude to Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure that left two others with minor injuries.

The second amendment can sometimes seem capricious as in the case of Sunday morning’s shooting outside Club Bumble Bee in Sanford, North Carolina that killed LaToyia McIntyre as she was leaving the club with her younger sister, Latishia, who summed it up this way: “I don’t even know how it happened. We were just on our way to the car. We were right there with each other.” And then LaToyia no longer was.

What is the NOMPH™ and how can I join? – Dr. Faustroll Writes the Wrongs.

today we are celebrating a new american acronym – NOMPH. and who better to bring it than the originator himself – Dr Faustroll,

Kick it Faustroll – Ya Crazy Mad Smart Blogger,

What is the NOMPH™ and how can I join?

If these are the kinds of questions flooding into your mind as a concerned young citizen in the green devolution today, you’ve come to the right place because I have been living in the belly of the NOMPH for more than 60 years and loving it. I get up every morning and recite my grudge of allegience and salute the smog.

The AntiTerrorist on the Freeman\Strawman\Man Pt1

The AntiTerrorist on the Freeman\Strawman\Man Pt2

It does not matter whether you are young or old, male or female, Demoblican or Republicrat, on or off, good or evil, hero or terrorist, ugly or hideous, or bored and indifferent. At the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge, and Laundromat, Doctor Faustroll and the patients and staff are committed to helping you become the best little Eichmann you can be in the New World Order originally perfected during the Alzheimer-enabled administration of The One Minute President.

NOMPH is a euphemism for NOMF™ designed to appease the skitterish censors among the uncognosentient on the Ted Stevens Intertube of disinformation and decider-assisted suicide. NOMF stands for nation of miserable fucks™, which seems to more accurately describe the United States of America during the past nearly 70 years than home of the brave and land of the free, at least during my ludicrous lifetime.

The NOMF is a place where ordinary citizens defend their right to be ignorant and to raise ignorant offspring more fervently than Nazis defended their rights to follow orders because it’s the right thing to do in a freedomocracy-loving country where everyone has the freedom of religion to belong to a Christian denomination of his or her or its choice. A proud patriotic member of the NOMF is at once binary and bipolar, viewing the world as clearly delineated by right versus wrong and perfectly willing to defend whatever wrong is done to protect the right because doing wrong is impossible in the defense of liberty.

BUSTED: The Citizen’s Guide to Surviving Police Encounters – How to exercise your constitutional rights during encounters with police.

Take, for instance, the second amendment right to own and bear arms as part of a well-regulated militia that can provide defense against the totalitarian brutality that results from living in a community police state. The fact is that citizens of the NOMF routinely refuse to even charge killer cops who use their automatic weapons for what sometimes is obviously target practice while applauding the extermination of anyone, armed or not, who would question authority or resist arrest.

The 4th Amendment – No Warrant, No Search! – You Have Rights, Exercise Them

The nation of miserable fucks has no qualms about torture or indiscriminate collateral slaughter of ordinary people who happen to die from the disposal of much of our gross national product in a process much like the one Jay Leno used to pitch Lay’s potato chips: “Go ahead. We’ll make more.”

Only an idiot would willfully join the NOMF, but then idiots are one thing the NOMF always has plenty of. Any questions?

Dealing With Police on the Street – How to manage a police encounter on the street while protecting your rights.

Meanwhile, the second amendment was created specifically to keep places with names like Niceville, Florida, safe from the zombie flu and other liberty threatening outbreaks. Over the weekend, Joshua Cartwright, a Florida National guard member with no combat experience, used his right to own and bear arms to resist attempts by Okaloosa County Sheriff deputies to incapacitate him with a stun gun after an argument with his wife over where she had hidden the Clearasil, which is one of the things the founding fathers may not have considered when crafting the Bill of Rights.

Deputies Burt Lopez and Warren “Skip” York died at the scene after being struck by numerous constitutionally protected projectiles, despite wearing supposedly second amendment-proof vests to protect their vital organs.

Cartwright later flipped his truck at a roadblock and died in a shootout with law enforcement officers in which more than 60 rounds were exchanged in less than a minute. Don’t worry. It wasn’t a record, and munitions companies will replenish the supply.

Obamination: the hope fades and the change is spare

Apparently New Yorkers have yet to get with the program nearly 10 years after 9/11, the day that changed everything for just everybody else in the NOMF™. I guess heroism is just so like August 6, 2001. I hear that thousands of potential heroes fled from the financial district like cockroaches when somebody flicks on the light because a plane that looked like Escape From New York flew overhead.

The mayor of the city, Michael Bimbo Bloomberg, was so angry about the insensitivity of having a photo op staged so near ground zero that he almost had a stroke, although New York remains nearly halfway around the world away from Hiroshima.

And Obama’s crack team of wonks didn’t help matters any when spokesidiot Robert Gibbs told the White House press cwhorps that the White House doesn’t have time to keep track of planes that may be used as Air Force One when the current Ai Force One is unavailable, presumably because Michelle and the kids need to go shopping.

And now Biraq himself is rumored to be furious that anyone would think of flying a plane at a low altitude anywhere near New York, which apparently no longer has airports.

OK. Let’s say we all calm down and remember we have the second amendment right to own and bear arms and join together in well-regulated militias to deal with problems like this. I would have expected that thousands of patriots would have rushed to the rooftops to bring down Air Force One if it was really such a threat.

To prevent such panic from ensuing in the future, let me present a couple of visual cue cards to help you determine the difference between a terrorist attack and promotional stunt.

Pay attention now, because there may be a quiz before the mid-term elections.

A plane on a terrorist mission